My son hitting it for you baby- One more time.
I saw an anti same sex marriage ad yesterday. In it a Melbourne mother whimpered she was ‘concerned’ that her son’s school had told him that he ‘could wear a dress next year if he wanted to’. The ad basically inferred that this was the tip of a slippery slope into a Gay dystopia. There was then an immediate denial from the school that this conversation ever took place, but it didn’t matter because I was immediately triggered. So much so, I ate an entire block of dark chocolate and wrote three rather abusive blog posts, that I have since deleted. You see, I have been on the receiving end of one of these, “If your boy wears a dress he is going to turn gay and then infect the rest of the community, until we can’t move for glitter bombs and unicorn poo,” rant. This happened to me, not at some Pride event or Marriage Equality rally, but in a shopping centre car park, with someone I thought I had known for years.
The greatest love of all
My boy, ‘middle child’ was wearing a dress for a fundraiser he was doing, hell it wasn’t even his suggestion. Someone offered him a donation for Cancer Council if he dressed up as Whitney Houston and he was all over it like a rash. It turned out my boy looked pretty damn good in a dress. He thought so too. He also thought, and still does, that it is perfectly acceptable to wear whatever you want to wear boy or girl. I’m on his side, and so is history. If we are going to split hairs, there are many cultures who totally rocked the frock thing. Not just frocks but, tunics, robes, togas, and sarongs, have been worn for centuries in societies all over the world. Even today in India and Japan garments like the dhoti and Yukata are still worn. Nobody questioned the masculinity of William Wallace’s kilt in Braveheart or doubted what Maximus Decimus Meridus had under his Toga in Gladiator. No one wanted to argue with Russell Crowe over his sexuality.This is one time people, it isn’t about the dress.
Opening that box for discussion
What I see here, in this ad is not a coalition of people just against Gay marriage. I see a rather a group of anxious mothers speaking out against something they fear, because they do not truly understand it. The world is changing and in their minds this change threatens them. These people are lumping together, gay marriage, transgender issues, and sexual preferences, under one great big umbrella and trying to contain it, so it doesn’t spill out and taint their children. In the hope they never have to have that conversation with their ‘newly out of the closet kid’ and admit that unconditional love they have held fast to might have a ‘get out clause.’
Dictating someones life choices might be viewed as a smack in the face
Even if you are so deluded that you think you are speaking up for ‘choice,’ for ‘a better life’, for your ‘family values’, you cannot deny you are also fighting equally hard so that someone else CAN’T have a choice in what they identity themselves as, how they choose to live, and who they can fall in love with. It is rather like campaigning to stop people eating peas because you don’t like them. It makes no sense, and quite frankly, It is scary that you want to control not only your life, but other peoples as well.
Hmmm could my boy grow up to be Gay because he has worn a dress?
A boy wearing a dress has feck all to do with anyone apart from him. Has my son turned Gay as a result of dressing up like Kylie? Has he abandoned his cis gender to embrace his female identity because he likes make up? No. Its too early to say who he is, but I can guarantee you, wearing a dress will not be one of his life concerns. I suspect there are worse things that scar children for life. I know this whatever his sexuality and gender identity are, I am damn sure he was born with it. There are plenty of Gay individuals out there with heterosexual parents, to disprove the ridiculous notion that same sex couples cant raise straight kids and vice versa. One thing it true. There is a lot more pressing crap in this world to address, than a dress. So, just to clarify here are the three reasons when it is NOT OK for a boy to wear a dress..
1. The dress belongs to someone else and the boy has not asked permission to wear it.
2. The occasion is more suited for, a floral skirt, hot pants, or culottes.
3. The dress is yours and he looks better in it.